In this form of dating, young men and women are introduced to each other by family or parents. To help them get to know each other better, they spend time talking on the phone, interact via the Internet and go out on group dates or as a couple with a chaperon, writes Search Your Love. Once they decide that they want to spend their lives together, the couple signs a marriage contract, called a "nikah. Halal dating gives Muslim couples the chance to develop a clear understanding and agreement that they are in a committed relationship and will marry each other.
Genevieve Van Wyden began writing in She has worked as a CPS social worker, gaining experience in the mental-health system. Muslim couples honor the Quran in their dating practices. Meet Singles in your Area! Quran-Based Rules Under the Muslim faith, single men and women can't be alone together. Dating with Chaperons Even Muslim couples that are already engaged to marry cannot spend time alone together. Short, Early Engagements Muslim couples that decide to get married become engaged early, once they know they are compatible.
Halal Dating American Muslims have developed a method of dating that falls within the confines of their faith and the Quran, called "Halal" dating. References Search Your Love: Dating Islamic Traditions Adherents. The Truth Behind Dating Families. View Singles Near You. Jehovah's Witness Dating Rules. Speed Dating Singles Events in Tampa.
Accessed 17 January At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an Friendship with Opposite Sex.
Is it wrong for two people of the opposite sex to be very good friends at school and outside of school? Muzammil Siddiqui answers " Muslims should have good elations with all people, males as well as females. At school, at work, in you neighborhood etc. However, it is not allowed in Islam to take a non-mahram person or persons of the opposite gender as a very close friend.
Muslim Rules on Dating | Dating Tips
Such friendship often leads to Haram. The Prophet - peace be upon him - said, whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one between them. It is a common thing to see a white woman marrying a man from a Muslim country. A question arises as to how they met each other before their marriage? Was it a marriage arranged by their parents?
They had probably met at work and dated each other. In the past Muslims did not date because of arranged marriages. Are parents in North America going to arrange the marriages of their young children as is done in some Islamic countries? In Islamic countries there are matrimonial brokers and agents who work to match the brides and bridegroom.
Parents have the support of the community in finding spouses for their children. Relatives, networking, social gatherings particularly weddings, make arranging marriages easier. In the United States, parents are left alone and cut off from these networks. The more educated the girl becomes, the less contented a parent feels in arranging for her marriage. African-American Muslims, as well as Arab and Asian immigrants from cultures that practice arranged marriages--are now unenthusiastic to do the same for their own children.
In an arranged marriage, a Muslim family usually investigates the prospective candidate further - talking with teachers, professors, employers, friends, family, Imams, colleagues, etc. It is a well-known fact that Islamic religious or cultural events are often segregated by gender? So how are the young North American Muslims supposed to meet and marry each other? The first group is "Strict Muslims" who date halal in an Islamically permissible style.
The second group I call "Eid Muslims," because many are not strict in practice and attend mosques only on holidays. While technically they are dating haram unlawfully in Islam , without chaperones, they're keeping physical intimacy to a minimum and parental involvement at a maximum. The third group dates "Sex and the City"-style definitely haram , openly and freely leading a non-Islamic lifestyle, having premarital sex sometimes in a series of monogamous relationships.
These non-Muslim women sometimes convert to Islam and marry their Muslim boyfriends. But some are unceremoniously dumped when the man's parents arrange a halal marriage.
The woman's family is naturally upset at how she has been treated, resulting in a misconception that Muslim men treat women poorly. Ironically, the "Sex and the City" Muslim man can date freely without risking his standing in the community, while a Muslim woman with the same dating pattern would not only gain a bad reputation but risk losing a good arranged marriage proposal. This double standard and poor treatment of women is not endorsed by Islam but by a general patriarchy that pervades many world cultures, including America.
They insist that their girlfriends, with whom they once openly had sex, will now have to wear a cover and stay at home, and that their dating relationship was haram. A friend of mine who had such an experience broke off the engagement with the Muslim man but retained her commitment to Islam. But she told me she is now committed to waiting to have sex again till she marries. Halal dating is the first cousin of arranged marriage, with young people finding their own mates--within the guidelines of Islam--instead of their parents arranging marriages for them. Because the Qur'an advocates equality between the sexes, it does not permit premarital sex--since all the negative consequences fall upon the woman, including pregnancy, the social stigma, and the raising of the child.
Premarital sex is also forbidden for other reasons, including learning to discipline oneself and practice self-control. Under Islam, when a man has sex with a woman to whom he is not married, he is being disrespectful of her, whether she is consensually participating or not. So young Muslims who engage in halal dating seek a commitment first and are vigilant about staying true to their religion. Less often they meet at school or in their local community.
They spend time talking over the phone or on the Internet and even going on dates, though for Strict Muslims, a chaperone is always present. Once they have decided they like each other, the couple is married under Islamic law by signing a marriage contract. This event, called the nikah, is as binding as a marriage.
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However, the couple is seen as engaged in most Islamic cultures and in American-Islamic culture. The signing of the agreement allows them to spend more time together. Strict Muslims still have a chaperone present and do not even hold hands. One views the other as a life partner, not a hot prom date. Eventually they will marry in a ceremony attended by their friends and family members. Sometimes, though, the betrothal may break up, but, because the couple was engaged in halal dating, no disgrace attaches to them.
Many Muslims marry non-Muslim women who convert as a result of halal dating. Another example of halal dating that resulted in marriage is that of a divorced non-Muslimah, who met a Muslim of Pakistani descent in her medical school class. The Pakistani husband even adopted her daughter from a previous marriage. Many non-Muslims see Islam as a gigantic, static monolith, when, in fact, Islam can be very dynamic. Shi'ite Muslims, for instance, sometimes use the device of muta to facilitate dating. A muta is a temporary marriage recognized under Shi'ite practice.
An agreement, oral or written, is created between the man and woman, securing for the woman certain rights in the event of pregnancy or at the termination of the marriage. I recently heard of a young Muslim couple living together before their formal wedding ceremony. Their parents could not bear their children living together unmarried so they secured a muta fatwa [an Islamic legal ruling that a temporary marriage was taking place between them] for them.
Their living together was then halal. Whether the use of muta is right or wrong, whether halal dating is indeed halal or not isn't the issue. In the end, we Muslims believe that God will decide, as He is the final judge of us all. Problems of Muslim Marriages in Britain. In Great Britain, Muslim youth intermingle freely and happily with most of their non-Muslim friends. When they have friends of the opposite sex, they are almost always non-Muslims. What is the reason for this? Because there is no shame whatsoever at the school in mixing freely and exchanging views and feelings - but there is enormous suspicion placed upon young Muslim men and women who try to mix freely and exchange views as friends.
This is true in the Masaajids also. Usually all that happens here is that they are kept apart from other Muslims, but mix pretty freely with non-Muslims.
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Others take the line that if a Muslim sees someone of the opposite sex, one glance is allowed but then the eyes must be cast down modestly, thus making normal conversation a difficult matter, to say the least. In other words, seeing someone is not forbidden, but using the eyes in a certain way is.
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